Have you ever had someone cut you off in traffic? It’s not only annoying—it’s selfish and dangerous.
Sadly, in personal relationships, cutting people off is becoming quite popular. There are whole “ministries” built on the premise (e.g. Boundaries).
Scripture commands us to cut off contact with Christians who are involved in serious unrepentant sin, false teachers, and people causing church conflict. And it tells us to avoid close friendships with ungodly people (Matthew 18:15-17; 2 John 1:10; Titus 3:9-11; 1 Corinthians 15:33).(1)
But Scripture does not support cutting people off because we have differences, because they are annoying, or because they don't make us feel good about ourselves. If we don't learn how to deal biblically with these difficult relationships, our faith remains shallow and self-centered (Proverbs 24:10).
Rude drivers are disrespectful and selfish. The only person they care about is themselves. The same is true for people who drive selfishly through their relationships. Cutting people off is the least healthy, least mature, and most selfish way to deal with problems.
We aren’t required to be everyone’s best buddy, but we are required treat people with consideration (Philippians 2:3-4), returning good for evil (Romans 12).
Take some time today to ask yourself if you are treating friends and family members the way you would want to be treated (Luke 6:31).
Bible Love Notes
How about siblings that are continuously disrespectful to you even when you turn your cheek? Siblings that accuse, cuss, and ignore you even when you keep giving? I’ve prayed about my relationship with my sisters. I’ve overlooked bad treatment and forgave lol for it to happen again. I have since decided to take time away from the relationship because it was causing major stress that lead to migraines. I love my siblings unconditionally, I respect them yet the same is not given to me.
ReplyDeleteDear Linn,
DeleteFirst off, you need to understand the terms you are using. You don't love your siblings unconditionally. If you did, you wouldn't cut them off.
Secondly, consider the story of Joseph. His siblings sold him into slavery. Joseph blessed those who cursed him and God used him powerfully. If he had tried to pay back his siblings, cut them off, punished them, he wouldn't have grown in his faith and he wouldn't have been useful to God.
We can choose what we want in life: to grow in our faith, to learn how to deal with difficult people, and to let God use us powerfully. Or we can cut people off, never learn how to overcome relationship problems, and be much less useful to the Lord.
Faith in Christ isn't about protecting our ego or making sure our lives are comfortable. It's about denying ourselves and growing in faith.
Have you sat down calmly with your siblings and told them how they are hurting you and asked them if you have done anything to hurt them? If you do this and listen to their hearts, perhaps they will listen to yours. Most people who cut other family members off haven't tried to work things out biblically. They may have expressed themselves in an angry argument and then just given up, or they may never have expressed themselves at all.
There are many ways to deal with difficult relationships, and cutting them off is one of the least effective.
I encourage you to Read Romans 12 and ask yourself if you have done everything it commands in your relationship with your siblings.
Hi,
DeleteI love my brothers dearly but they have also disrespected me. I have tried talking to them but they won’t listen. I have prayed for them and sent numerous prayers out. They also are unbelievers and have been blasphemous in the house. My youngest brother just comes round to clean up and order me around. It feels like a spiritual battle.
I think you have it right, 13th Theatre Co -- It is a spiritual battle.
Delete